Health Check

I have been due one for ages so, in my new year, I booked a consultation with a GP (general practitioner doctor, first in line for your health concerns in the UK) but not the one I was assigned to. The same clinic has a doctor who specialises in family planning and women’s health. It…

And so it starts…

I’ve done it! I have sent the application for divorce! Draconian UK law means divorces are granted by accusing the other party of wrongdoing, like adultery (I couldn’t believe the forms that required the naming of the person your partner was having an affair with!) or violence. UNLESS you have been separated for two years…

Sad Prospects

In my previous post, I mentioned the low prospects of me getting a date. It’s not just pessimism. I have found a partner in crime for going out. P is a former coworker who I had lost contact with during my lowest point in the separation, when I was very withdrawn and down all the…

Two Years…

This weekend marked the two year anniversary of when Barely Husband came back from his two week trip to spend the holidays with his family. When he came back, it was clear to me I had been happier without him. It was also the last time we had sex. The last time I had sex….

Happy Hogmanay!

For those who don’t know, Hogmanay is the Scots word for the last day of the year and is synonymous with the celebration of the New Year. Raven and I went to Scotland with some friends, to attend our favourite NYE celebration in Edinburgh. It was our fourth time and I am sure we will…

Merry Christmas!

It’s Christmas again and time has flown by this year. I feel much better than I did last year. There has been a lot of healing throughout the year and I have made a lot of changes to my life. The main difference, though, is that I have Raven with me. Barely husband has gone…

Friends with Benefits – Reversed

In the middle of our marriage crisis, I wrote here how Barely Husband accused me of treating him like a friend with benefits. I couldn’t deny it. A girl has needs too, you know… It may not have been the wisest on my part and as we drifted more and more, I still wanted sex,…

The Pursuit of… Fitness???

I have documented here my struggle with my shape. I don’t really want to say weight as I was still a healthy BMI and whenever I mentioned dieting, someone would say ‘You don’t need that! You look great!” The truth is, I had become very unhealthy, living on quick fixes and ready meals. This took…

Time flies…

Last time I scolded myself for letting two months go by without posting. Well, this time it’s been almost three months. I hadn’t even realised it. Things have improved dramatically in my end. Barely husband is gone. I helped him find a new house and negotiate the terms of a rental agreement for the property…

I Told You So…

Even though the title of this post won’t help me, it is exactly what I should be repeatedly saying to Barely Husband right now. His apartment deal fell through and he’s scrambling to find a suitable rent property to move into asap. From the outset everything seemed dodgy to me, but he had his mind…

More Pride

As you know, I went to Doncaster Pride by myself as Raven was away with her dad in Spain. She was very upset she was going to miss the festival for the second year. I was upset too because I really wanted to share the experience with her. Suddenly Manchester popped in my head. I…

Social Life

One of the biggest challenges for me after the split has been rebuilding my social life. With the lifestyle forced on me by Barely Husband, I ended up with no friends close by who I could call for a coffee, for example. We were always on the move, always out doing some tour, visit or…

Pride 2018

One weekend during my blog absence, I was lying alone in bed. I had things to do but couldn’t be bothered. It was one of those lazy moments. Raven had gone on holiday with her dad the night before and I would have a week alone with my thoughts, at least on the evenings. As…

DFM is two!

One of the things I missed during my absence from the blogsphere was my own blogversary. DIARY OF A FAILED MARRIAGE IS TWO! My baby is a toddler and my life has changed a lot. For the better. Exhaustion episodes, crying for no reason and fear of the unknown are not part of my days…

Two Months

It’s been two months since I last posted here. I feel really bad for neglecting my blog and even worse for abandoning my blogger friends. I apologise! I have been reflecting on why and it’s hard to explain. The writing drought hasn’t been confined to here. I haven’t written a single word for my stories…

A First Meeting

This weekend, after moving and being left bruised and sore, I went to London to meet someone special; someone very special. She’s a fellow WordPress blogger from America who has become a dear friend. The first I have ever met in person. She has recently gone through a divorce herself and often offered me support…

It’s Done

Finally! I am in my new house! The purchase was completed on Thursday and I spent all day carrying boxes up and down stairs. Two lorry-full trips and a few more car trips were needed. I have bruises, cuts, grazes… You name it. I even think one of my fingers is broken. Boxes are piled…

I Hate Moving

House buying in the UK is a fucking pain in my arse! It gets worse every time I do it. I hate over demanding buyers and I hate slow as fuck sellers. I hate solicitors. I hate packing. It’s been far too many months of non-stop stress and I’m tired. I’m lashing out and not…

Revelation

Yesterday, I sat with Raven chatting about dating. I told her about a recent bad experience from one of my friends. She’s young and really sweet but suffers from anxiety and had problems with depression in the past. They met through an online dating App and she gushed about him non-stop. She called him dreamy…

Family

Raven came back from France full of stories. She loved the trip, even the almost 24h coach ride. I would have too, if I was a teenager, joined by twenty something other rowdy teenagers. Lol! She wants to go again next year! Then my dad arrived on Saturday. I hadn’t seen him in eight years….

Night Out

I went out last night with three work colleagues. It was meant to be my late birthday celebration. Wednesday is not an ideal day but that’s the day we could all make it. And we didn’t hold back. A nice Chinese dim-sum meal followed by drinks at a bar. I’m not sure what time I…

See You Again

I did it! My second novel ‘See You Again’ is finished on Wattpad. I hit the completed button and of course I was a little emotional. Now I start another chapter of my writing story. Make Love Your Goal is unpublished and I have to start the mammoth task of rewriting it into a series….

Week Off

Raven leaves tonight to France for a week. That’s part of her French Exchange program at school. She’s not looking forward to the 18 hour coach trip but she’s looking forward to good food, nice weather and a visit to the beach. I’m not looking forward to being away from her but I’m looking forward…

Attraction

I have mentioned here before that when I am attracted to someone, I just am. I’m not bound by gender or sexual orientation. There’s no reasoning behind it. Or is there? Last time I wrote about it, it happened at London’s Anime Con and it was a younger woman. I had eyes for no one…

Birthday Celebration

Saturday was my birthday! I chose to celebrate by taking mom and Raven to the local Fake Festival. BEST. DECISION. EVER!!! If you don’t know what a Fake Festival is, it’s a music festival with tribute bands only. We saw the likes of Really Hot Chilli Peppers, Kazabian and The Fillers. Rock is my music…

Author Website

My author website is finally up and running! I am very proud of it. Now I need to get my books ready for publishing, which is no easy feat. I’ll be blogging there as well, only a couple of times a month. The aim is to get people to subscribe to receive first hand news…

Three Days Running

Literally. Three days and three runs. I’m hanging on. It has to be worth it!

Out of Shape

Sometime last year, I realised I am very out of shape. My clothes are tight and cling to my body in the most unflattering way. I don’t feel good about myself. I’m not only talking about weight. I am overweight, yes, mainly because I love food and stress makes me overeat even more, but most…

Big Changes

In my last post, I hinted at changes in the arrangements with Barely Husband regarding Raven. They were a possibility then but guess what? They will happen. While he was waiting for the electrician to inspect the house, he received a call from a recruiter about a job where I live. An interview was arranged…

Attachment

When Barely Husband and Raven arrived Thursday night, they came to mine. BH had agreed to be at the house for one of the million inspections the buyer has requested. Previously, I had taken time off work or kindly asked my sweet and retired neighbours to be there. He lives an hour away so it’s…