Attraction

I have mentioned here before that when I am attracted to someone, I just am. I’m not bound by gender or sexual orientation. There’s no reasoning behind it. Or is there? Last time I wrote about it, it happened at London’s Anime Con and it was a younger woman. I had eyes for no one…

Author Website

My author website is finally up and running! I am very proud of it. Now I need to get my books ready for publishing, which is no easy feat. I’ll be blogging there as well, only a couple of times a month. The aim is to get people to subscribe to receive first hand news…

#MeToo – Assessment and Inspiration

Anyone with internet will have heard of the #MeToo movement created a few months ago to shed light on sexual abuse. It all started with Harvey Weinstein’s scandal and spread throughout the industry in Hollywood and reached us commoners. Many women shared their stories – ranging from uncomfortable requests, through narrow escapes to full on…

Me Being Me

I have made no secret in this blog about my sexuality. For the newcomers, I identify as pansexual. I don’t have barriers regarding sexuality or gender when falling in love. In the big context, I am who I am and I just am. I love the person regardless, even if that means someone who will…

Online Dating

This has become my fun lately. I went through a few sites and Apps, not hoping to find anyone, to be honest. I have taken to creating profiles and checking the neighbourhood. What I find only reinforces my idea that these are full of people just looking for a quickie.  Still, after a few glasses…

Lessons

There are lessons we have to learn as life teaches them. While Raven was away with her dad, in a deeply Catholic and Evangelical country, she felt in her skin what I had told her about my upbringing.  My sexuality was not welcome.  She asked a few random questions to people who would have been…

Writing To Reach You

Many moons ago, I heard a song called ‘Writing To Reach You‘ for the first time. It’s by Scottish band Travis. This song has always been amongst my favourites but it’s been stuck in my head lately. I have been thinking a lot about the lyrics and they have taken a different, more powerful meaning….

ONE TRACK MIND

Today two people have told me I currently have a one track mind. The first one was a work colleague, the first one I told about my split with barely husband. We had the following conversation: “Is that why you’ve been so aggressive in meetings, threatening to bite people’s heads off and all?” he asked me…

FICTION X REALITY

This weekend, my first Wattpad story, Make Love Your Goal, reached 14K reads.  I’m already publishing chapter 10 of my second story, See You Again, but because MLYG is so personal and special to me, I had to revisit the characters and write a special chapter. I named it Six Years Later and allowed myself…

Pride

Today is Doncaster Pride and I am here with my mom, in her first ever LGBTQ+ event.  Our relationship has come leaps and bounds over the past couple of weeks and this is the icing on the cake.  Raven would love to be with us but her dad would never allow us to take over…

AROUND IN CIRCLES

Barely husband seems to have chosen to ultimately blame my sexual orientation for the failure of my marriage. For the ones who don’t know, I am Pansexual. He keeps distorting the facts, trying to blame me for not telling him about it when I clearly told him that I had been involved with women before….

Writing Milestone

This weekend I have finished writing my first Wattpad book. It has been a very long journey, a labour of love, writing a story with a theme so special and important to me. ‘Make Love Your Goal’ has kept me sane in many ways. I could put all my feelings of love and acceptance of the LGBTQ+…

MANCHESTER IS LOVE

MANCHESTER IS A PLACE OF LOVE I was very lucky to spend the most wonderful three years there while going to University. There, I was integrated in a world that saw no boundaries for love. Students of all backgrounds, religious beliefs and sexual orientations lived and worked in harmony. Manchester was where I discovered myself…

BUCKET LIST

More like F*CK IT list in my current mood. A lot of things are just stuff I HAVE TO do to sort my life out. It’s not that long… I think. I haven’t written it beforehand so we’ll see! 1.     Buy my own house – I’ve had a few houses before but it has…

DATING AGAIN

No, I am not dating again but it’s something that crosses my mind from time to time. It was used as a threat of sorts by barely husband, as he tried to make me jealous. He said loud and clear that he would go out and have fun with the intention of meeting someone else because…

BREAKING POINT

Two bad arguments in two days. Things are not going well. The first one started about politics and a bad taste joke from his side that made me snap. I shouldn’t have, especially not in front of Raven. I apologised for snapping but not for my opinion. The second came about my sexuality. He finally…

RANGE OF EMOTIONS

Barely husband came home from work yesterday and he didn’t look well. He was down and embraced me, asking me to spend some time with him. I agreed feeling he needed to talk but knowing full well sex would be out of bounds as our latest attempt took me back to my sexual frustration times….

JEALOUSY

There has been another argument. Barely husband is growing increasingly jealous of my writing, especially of my leading man (Scott) in my book. He’s been vehemently arguing a case for the leading couple not to stay together. What pisses me off the most is that he uses Scott’s bisexuality as a reason for the split. HASN’T…

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

This will be another unplanned post. People who follow my blog know I don’t do these often. I sit down and carefully line up what I’m going to write about then I start writing in a coherent and logic way. Many years ago, I took an Emotional Intelligence test as part of the Human Resources…

BUSTED

As I mentioned in my previous post, my ghost writer persona has been busted. Barely husband has known for a while that I’ve been writing on Wattpad. Many times he tried to get me to tell him about my book and I always refused. I told him the themes would make him uncomfortable and I didn’t need…

TOTAL HONESTY

The choice barely husband made to message me on WhatsApp to tell me about how he was feeling was an interesting one. It is one of the 3Ws he began to hate and he decided to use it to reach out to me. It also gave me the opportunity, for the first time ever, to apply a total…

MISSION: WRITING

First of all, I would like to apologise to my followers for my erratic posting schedule. Then I’d like to apologise to my fellow bloggers for my very delayed reads and comments. I know you will all say it’s not a problem but maybe the apology is for my peace of mind as I really…

STORM BREWING

I feel a storm brewing. It has been quietly building up and I know it’s going to come down heavy and destructive. I am feeling low. My body senses the storm and hits me with physical exhaustion, even though my mind is fully alert. Barely husband snapped at me yesterday. It was quick and not…

DUALITY OF ME

One of the things I have established in my posts is that I am bisexual. I have kissed girls and there’s no question in my mind that I would have dated a woman if I had feelings for her. I have also written about the only time I approached the subject with my husband, when…

WRITING MILESTONE #2

It is another very happy day for me: my book has reached 2000 reads! If you all remember, this seemed like a distant dream not long ago, but now it has found its public and it’s going strong. Yes, the number of reads is great, but what makes me the happiest are the comments. As…