Three Months

Today marks a strange anniversary for me. The last time I had sex. Oh, well… Some things are really important, you know?  Barely husband had just come back from his family visit trip that started with an outburst of anger for me not wanting to flow through with our original travel plans. That’s a mouthful,…

DATING AGAIN

No, I am not dating again but it’s something that crosses my mind from time to time. It was used as a threat of sorts by barely husband, as he tried to make me jealous. He said loud and clear that he would go out and have fun with the intention of meeting someone else because…

Writing Milestone 10K

I have made no secret that writing has kept me sane over the past (almost) year, when things became really bad between barely husband and I.  Starting to record a story I had in my mind, a story I wanted to maybe share one day, I used pen and paper. A couple of months into…

What I want – Part 2

A while ago, I posted about the things I wanted from a relationship. The list was very straightforward and may seem like a romantic dream. Well, it still is my romantic dream.  However, right now, I don’t feel ready for a relationship. I don’t feel ready to be ‘on the market’ so to speak.  It…

IT’S PERSONAL

Raven has taken barely husband’s latest attack on my sexuality in a bad way.  She finds it offensive and a personal attack on her. He has sensed something and started asking me questions regarding her ‘knowledge’ of LGBTQ+ issues. He wants to know what she’s told me.  I promised her I wouldn’t tell him. It’s…

BREAKING POINT

Two bad arguments in two days. Things are not going well. The first one started about politics and a bad taste joke from his side that made me snap. I shouldn’t have, especially not in front of Raven. I apologised for snapping but not for my opinion. The second came about my sexuality. He finally…

RANGE OF EMOTIONS

Barely husband came home from work yesterday and he didn’t look well. He was down and embraced me, asking me to spend some time with him. I agreed feeling he needed to talk but knowing full well sex would be out of bounds as our latest attempt took me back to my sexual frustration times….

JEALOUSY

There has been another argument. Barely husband is growing increasingly jealous of my writing, especially of my leading man (Scott) in my book. He’s been vehemently arguing a case for the leading couple not to stay together. What pisses me off the most is that he uses Scott’s bisexuality as a reason for the split. HASN’T…

NO REGRETS

During our doomed holiday, when barely husband and I had a really bad argument – the second of the really horrible ones in our sequence – we went to a Spanish shopping centre and entered this shop I had never heard of. Raven and I were immediately drawn to the t-shirts. They were different. They were…

BUSTED

As I mentioned in my previous post, my ghost writer persona has been busted. Barely husband has known for a while that I’ve been writing on Wattpad. Many times he tried to get me to tell him about my book and I always refused. I told him the themes would make him uncomfortable and I didn’t need…

TOTAL HONESTY

The choice barely husband made to message me on WhatsApp to tell me about how he was feeling was an interesting one. It is one of the 3Ws he began to hate and he decided to use it to reach out to me. It also gave me the opportunity, for the first time ever, to apply a total…

MISSION: WRITING

First of all, I would like to apologise to my followers for my erratic posting schedule. Then I’d like to apologise to my fellow bloggers for my very delayed reads and comments. I know you will all say it’s not a problem but maybe the apology is for my peace of mind as I really…

DUALITY OF ME

One of the things I have established in my posts is that I am bisexual. I have kissed girls and there’s no question in my mind that I would have dated a woman if I had feelings for her. I have also written about the only time I approached the subject with my husband, when…

WRITING MILESTONE #2

It is another very happy day for me: my book has reached 2000 reads! If you all remember, this seemed like a distant dream not long ago, but now it has found its public and it’s going strong. Yes, the number of reads is great, but what makes me the happiest are the comments. As…

OUROBOROS

I am stuck in a vicious cycle. The calm is gone and the whole being down thing during it proved to be warranted: I was simply bracing for the next storm! And it came, not as bad as the first one, but just like a hurricane, the second wave, after the eye passes, is just…

OPPOSITES ATTRACT (?)

It’s been a very tough couple of weeks. Barely husband and I had a massive argument and then all the cards were put on the table. I told him I am trying to find myself because I don’t recognise the person in the mirror anymore. Whatever fake name I use – Anna, Danielle, Erica –…