Revelation

Yesterday, I sat with Raven chatting about dating. I told her about a recent bad experience from one of my friends. She’s young and really sweet but suffers from anxiety and had problems with depression in the past. They met through an online dating App and she gushed about him non-stop. She called him dreamy…

Attraction

I have mentioned here before that when I am attracted to someone, I just am. I’m not bound by gender or sexual orientation. There’s no reasoning behind it. Or is there? Last time I wrote about it, it happened at London’s Anime Con and it was a younger woman. I had eyes for no one…

Author Website

My author website is finally up and running! I am very proud of it. Now I need to get my books ready for publishing, which is no easy feat. I’ll be blogging there as well, only a couple of times a month. The aim is to get people to subscribe to receive first hand news…

#MeToo – Assessment and Inspiration

Anyone with internet will have heard of the #MeToo movement created a few months ago to shed light on sexual abuse. It all started with Harvey Weinstein’s scandal and spread throughout the industry in Hollywood and reached us commoners. Many women shared their stories – ranging from uncomfortable requests, through narrow escapes to full on…

Me Being Me

I have made no secret in this blog about my sexuality. For the newcomers, I identify as pansexual. I don’t have barriers regarding sexuality or gender when falling in love. In the big context, I am who I am and I just am. I love the person regardless, even if that means someone who will…

Happy Valentine’s Day

It is a nice day. I enjoy doing something special on Valentine’s day. As a typical Taurus, my perfect date would most likely consist of tasty food and a good amount of alcohol while talking looking into the loved one’s eyes. I honestly don’t need much more than that. Well, add great sex afterwards and…

Online Dating

This has become my fun lately. I went through a few sites and Apps, not hoping to find anyone, to be honest. I have taken to creating profiles and checking the neighbourhood. What I find only reinforces my idea that these are full of people just looking for a quickie.  Still, after a few glasses…

Lessons

There are lessons we have to learn as life teaches them. While Raven was away with her dad, in a deeply Catholic and Evangelical country, she felt in her skin what I had told her about my upbringing.  My sexuality was not welcome.  She asked a few random questions to people who would have been…

9 Days

I had a good day again. I slept fine, ate well and didn’t drink. I had one glass too many last night and instigated another wild conversation with my friends. Somehow, one of them ended up suggesting that I have a threesome with a gay couple who lives close to my house.  I’ll spare you…

HOW FAR?

These two words have been echoing in my mind all week. There are so many implications, situations and applications. How far can someone push you before you break? How far do you let them go to preserve your relationship? Each person will have a different answer to these same questions and, truth be told, to every single question…

Writing To Reach You

Many moons ago, I heard a song called ‘Writing To Reach You‘ for the first time. It’s by Scottish band Travis. This song has always been amongst my favourites but it’s been stuck in my head lately. I have been thinking a lot about the lyrics and they have taken a different, more powerful meaning….

ONE TRACK MIND

Today two people have told me I currently have a one track mind. The first one was a work colleague, the first one I told about my split with barely husband.¬†We had the following conversation: “Is that why you’ve been so aggressive in meetings, threatening to bite people’s heads off and all?” he asked me…

Dirty Thoughts

This is a post containing random dirty thoughts. I have found it very hard to control them lately. Don’t expect any real depth in my writing tonight. This is just a bit of fun as I’m a bit of a failure at being sexy as you will see. ūüėČ 1. After having a few too…

FICTION X REALITY

This weekend, my first Wattpad story, Make Love Your Goal, reached 14K reads.¬† I’m already publishing chapter 10 of my second story, See You Again, but because MLYG is so personal and special to me, I had to revisit the characters and write a special chapter. I named it Six Years Later and allowed myself…

DREAMS

In my previous post, I mentioned dreams, more specifically dreams that put me in a good mood that continues all day. Let me try to explain. I have started writing quick notes to remind me of these dreams. There has been a recurring theme to most of them. They are centred around having a relationship…

Pride

Today is Doncaster Pride and I am here with my mom, in her first ever LGBTQ+ event.  Our relationship has come leaps and bounds over the past couple of weeks and this is the icing on the cake.  Raven would love to be with us but her dad would never allow us to take over…

AROUND IN CIRCLES

Barely husband seems to have chosen to ultimately blame my sexual orientation for the failure of my marriage. For the ones who don’t know, I am Pansexual. He keeps distorting the facts, trying to blame me for not telling him about it when I clearly told him that I had been involved with women before….

DANCING ON MY OWN

As most of you may already know, I am a big music lover and sometimes post my random playlists. I have made no secret I am a HUGE Pentatonix fan, often rambling about them, their music and what they represent in terms of acceptance. This song, Dancing On My Own,¬†is their first release since member…

Writing Milestone

This weekend I have finished writing my first Wattpad book. It has been a very long journey, a labour of love, writing a story with a theme so special and important to me. ‘Make Love Your Goal’ has kept me sane in many ways. I could put all my feelings of love and acceptance of the LGBTQ+…

Being Whole Again

I have been in a down mood for a while. The crying, the despair, the loneliness… I’ve felt it all.  Raven, wise beyond her years, has been my saving grace. I thanked her yesterday. She had been trying to hammer into my mind that as long as I’m feeling needy and basically crap, all I’m…

Writing Milestone 

I usually post milestones for my Wattpad work but today I want to share two blog milestones for my ‘Diary of a Failed Marriage.’  Earlier this week this happened:  And today this happened : When I started writing, all I wanted was an outlet. I wondered if anyone would ever want to read about a…

My Flowers

Some of the flowers in my garden have crossed. They have become hybrids.  What were meant to be white roses now show splashes of pink and lilac from other flowers growing around it – or over and under it as they have become tangled with each other.  Just like me, they’re not here nor there….

MANCHESTER IS LOVE

MANCHESTER IS A PLACE OF LOVE I was very lucky to spend the most wonderful three years there while going to University. There, I was integrated in a world that saw no boundaries for love. Students of all backgrounds, religious beliefs and sexual orientations lived and worked in harmony. Manchester was where I discovered myself…

RAINBOW REMINDER

You may have noticed from my previous post that I picked Raven up from Drama. Her dad usually does it but he had driven to Scotland and back for work and was exhausted. I noticed his voice was very rough when I called him to ask if he was going to get her. We took…

BUCKET LIST

More like F*CK IT list in my current mood. A lot of things are just stuff I HAVE TO do to sort my life out. It’s not that long… I think. I haven’t written it beforehand so we’ll see! 1.¬†¬†   Buy my own house – I’ve had a few houses before but it has…

I NEED…

…a good fuck. A GREAT fuck. A mind blowing FUCK. With earth shattering orgasms. That always makes things better. Unfortunately, it’s not happening any time soon.

Birthday Wish

I turned 40. I don’t feel any different from before but this age means something. It’s the midlife point, often associated with the famous midlife crisis.  Barely husband has accused me before of doing all this due to some sort of midlife crisis. He has dropped this argument since we started getting on as friends….

CONFUSED

I have been trying to write something to post here for a few days now. More precisely since Saturday. I just can’t seem to find a sequence of words and thoughts that makes sense. I’ll just write whatever and post it anyway.  Barely husband was here again over the weekend. Raven spent the week with…

A WEEK ALONE

I have a week alone ahead of me. Well, I have the dog, which is not mine and that I never wanted to start with. *Sigh* Because I was off last week I made the decision to give myself a proper resting holiday and sent the dog off to the kennel. It is a very…

HAPPY EASTER 

It’s been an eventful weekend and our quest for family balance through the separation continues.  Barely husband wanted to take me out. He insisted a lot and I ended up agreeing after making clear yet again this did not mean we are any closer to getting back together. He said he was fine and just…