Author Website

My author website is finally up and running! I am very proud of it. Now I need to get my books ready for publishing, which is no easy feat. I’ll be blogging there as well, only a couple of times a month. The aim is to get people to subscribe to receive first hand news…

Me Being Me

I have made no secret in this blog about my sexuality. For the newcomers, I identify as pansexual. I don’t have barriers regarding sexuality or gender when falling in love. In the big context, I am who I am and I just am. I love the person regardless, even if that means someone who will…

Happy Valentine’s Day

It is a nice day. I enjoy doing something special on Valentine’s day. As a typical Taurus, my perfect date would most likely consist of tasty food and a good amount of alcohol while talking looking into the loved one’s eyes. I honestly don’t need much more than that. Well, add great sex afterwards and…

Dick is Back

And I hate it! Barely husband has been really nice to me so he has to be a cunt to Raven. Pardon my English but dick is not enough. Raven had her first agent audition on Sunday. It was close to his place so it made total sense that he would take her. He suggested…

Online Dating

This has become my fun lately. I went through a few sites and Apps, not hoping to find anyone, to be honest. I have taken to creating profiles and checking the neighbourhood. What I find only reinforces my idea that these are full of people just looking for a quickie.  Still, after a few glasses…

Lessons

There are lessons we have to learn as life teaches them. While Raven was away with her dad, in a deeply Catholic and Evangelical country, she felt in her skin what I had told her about my upbringing.  My sexuality was not welcome.  She asked a few random questions to people who would have been…

Tattoo Update – 2017 done

I close 2017 with 22 hours of work done. The last sitting of this year lasted only two hours and it involved a lot of shading, going over areas previously done to bring the pictures together.  I love my artist’s work. He gets me. And as Raven would say, he had his hands on me…

Weekend Away

I have just returned from an amazing weekend in Belgium with friends who live there. It was a long weekend, filled with conversations, food and, of course, Belgian beers. These friends went to high school with me, meaning we’ve known each other for almost 30 years. We lost contact somewhere in the middle but, after…

Utter Hell

Today has been one of those days when you know, from the second you wake up, things are going to be hell. I didn’t sleep well. At all. I woke up many times. I was anxious. I went to work feeling less than fresh to end up stuck in a meeting for two hours discussing…

FICTION X REALITY

This weekend, my first Wattpad story, Make Love Your Goal, reached 14K reads.  I’m already publishing chapter 10 of my second story, See You Again, but because MLYG is so personal and special to me, I had to revisit the characters and write a special chapter. I named it Six Years Later and allowed myself…

DREAMS

In my previous post, I mentioned dreams, more specifically dreams that put me in a good mood that continues all day. Let me try to explain. I have started writing quick notes to remind me of these dreams. There has been a recurring theme to most of them. They are centred around having a relationship…

THE BIG O

Continuation of The Missing Piece… I moved on to The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, by Shel Silverstein. I had my mouth hanging open all through it. I related so much to everything. It starts with our Missing Piece waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere. And loads come but there’s…

Pride

Today is Doncaster Pride and I am here with my mom, in her first ever LGBTQ+ event.  Our relationship has come leaps and bounds over the past couple of weeks and this is the icing on the cake.  Raven would love to be with us but her dad would never allow us to take over…

AROUND IN CIRCLES

Barely husband seems to have chosen to ultimately blame my sexual orientation for the failure of my marriage. For the ones who don’t know, I am Pansexual. He keeps distorting the facts, trying to blame me for not telling him about it when I clearly told him that I had been involved with women before….

Writing Milestone

This weekend I have finished writing my first Wattpad book. It has been a very long journey, a labour of love, writing a story with a theme so special and important to me. ‘Make Love Your Goal’ has kept me sane in many ways. I could put all my feelings of love and acceptance of the LGBTQ+…

Lame Excuses

I have come across an article listing lame excuses not to get a divorce. It wasn’t a masterpiece in writing and it was quite repetitive to get to the promised ’20 reasons.’ However, as I have been a victim of some of them myself, I decided to write my own. 1. Loss of Material Comfort –…

FORGIVENESS

After the stress, accusations and acknowledgement requirements by barely husband, I made a point in distancing myself and keeping our contact to a minimum. Every time he video called Raven, I made sure I was out of the picture, preferably in another room. When I dropped her off at his on Saturday, I left her…

Writing Milestone 

I usually post milestones for my Wattpad work but today I want to share two blog milestones for my ‘Diary of a Failed Marriage.’  Earlier this week this happened:  And today this happened : When I started writing, all I wanted was an outlet. I wondered if anyone would ever want to read about a…

My Flowers

Some of the flowers in my garden have crossed. They have become hybrids.  What were meant to be white roses now show splashes of pink and lilac from other flowers growing around it – or over and under it as they have become tangled with each other.  Just like me, they’re not here nor there….

MANCHESTER IS LOVE

MANCHESTER IS A PLACE OF LOVE I was very lucky to spend the most wonderful three years there while going to University. There, I was integrated in a world that saw no boundaries for love. Students of all backgrounds, religious beliefs and sexual orientations lived and worked in harmony. Manchester was where I discovered myself…

RAINBOW REMINDER

You may have noticed from my previous post that I picked Raven up from Drama. Her dad usually does it but he had driven to Scotland and back for work and was exhausted. I noticed his voice was very rough when I called him to ask if he was going to get her. We took…

BUCKET LIST

More like F*CK IT list in my current mood. A lot of things are just stuff I HAVE TO do to sort my life out. It’s not that long… I think. I haven’t written it beforehand so we’ll see! 1.     Buy my own house – I’ve had a few houses before but it has…

Birthday Wish

I turned 40. I don’t feel any different from before but this age means something. It’s the midlife point, often associated with the famous midlife crisis.  Barely husband has accused me before of doing all this due to some sort of midlife crisis. He has dropped this argument since we started getting on as friends….

CONFUSED

I have been trying to write something to post here for a few days now. More precisely since Saturday. I just can’t seem to find a sequence of words and thoughts that makes sense. I’ll just write whatever and post it anyway.  Barely husband was here again over the weekend. Raven spent the week with…

HAPPY EASTER 

It’s been an eventful weekend and our quest for family balance through the separation continues.  Barely husband wanted to take me out. He insisted a lot and I ended up agreeing after making clear yet again this did not mean we are any closer to getting back together. He said he was fine and just…

Three Months

Today marks a strange anniversary for me. The last time I had sex. Oh, well… Some things are really important, you know?  Barely husband had just come back from his family visit trip that started with an outburst of anger for me not wanting to flow through with our original travel plans. That’s a mouthful,…

DATING AGAIN

No, I am not dating again but it’s something that crosses my mind from time to time. It was used as a threat of sorts by barely husband, as he tried to make me jealous. He said loud and clear that he would go out and have fun with the intention of meeting someone else because…

Writing Milestone 10K

I have made no secret that writing has kept me sane over the past (almost) year, when things became really bad between barely husband and I.  Starting to record a story I had in my mind, a story I wanted to maybe share one day, I used pen and paper. A couple of months into…

What I want – Part 2

A while ago, I posted about the things I wanted from a relationship. The list was very straightforward and may seem like a romantic dream. Well, it still is my romantic dream.  However, right now, I don’t feel ready for a relationship. I don’t feel ready to be ‘on the market’ so to speak.  It…

SAFE X HAPPY

There is no doubt in my mind that I have made the right choice by picking the divorce. The relationship is irrevocably broken and we want and cherish very different things in life.  He wants the safe, what he calls a wife, a child and a dog.  I want to feel. Simply feel something as…