Lessons

There are lessons we have to learn as life teaches them.

While Raven was away with her dad, in a deeply Catholic and Evangelical country, she felt in her skin what I had told her about my upbringing. 

My sexuality was not welcome. 

She asked a few random questions to people who would have been her friends had we lived there. Answers like ‘God created man and woman’ or ‘I feel like punching them’ upon seeing a gay couple at the beach, hurt her to an extent they are not able to measure.

Barely husband still has no idea she’s bisexual and his attacks, although directed at me, hit her more than he is able to acknowledge. I know, when he finds out, it will still be my fault, even though she came out to me before I came out to her.

He’ll at least say it’s my genes! My fault! 

Remaining in the UK was always a point for arguments with barely husband. I fought with all my might to remain here, because I thought it was the best for our family and especially our daughter. It’s where I realised there was nothing wrong with me. It’s where ALL Raven’s friends know she’s bi and love her all the same. 

I am certain now that I did the right thing. 

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Donnalee says:

    I have only started following your blog so don’t know the backstory, but I am glad you are supportive of the rights of GLBT++ folks–

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      More than 100% supportive. Above labels are the human beings. And I fully support anyone who wants to be themselves. πŸ’™πŸ’–

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Donnalee says:

        It is too bad that many feel we cannot be ourselves. Let’s hope we help each other to feel safe and be safe doing so–

        Liked by 2 people

      2. DFMGhost says:

        So true! Together we are strong. 😘😘

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You made the right choice and you know it in your heart. He will always be her father and once he finds out, his blame for you and comments will only make Raven withdraw from him. It will be his fault and the Karma in the blame and hurt he is inflicting. Sad and I’m sorry my friend. Be good to yourself and Raven. Both of you know the truth.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      He doesn’t know and I don’t think he even considers the possibility she’s something other than straight. Hard lesson to be learned there.
      I told her that I think he would still side with her but the damage being dine is now. 🌈🌈

      Like

  3. bone&silver says:

    Oh this is both a sad and happy post for me: what a shame and a loss for Raven that her father says such negative things about non-straight sexuality, and what a joy that she has a supportive, understanding parent and role model in YOU, and dear friends who love her. Growing up, I always found both boys and girls attractive; I kissed my first woman at 22, but never felt a huge revelation that i was ‘lesbian’. In fact, I’d say I’ve experienced prejudice and discrimination because of my more-fluid sexuality by both straights and gays… Now, at last, fluidity is becoming more ‘acceptable’; bisexuality is more ‘acceptable’, and some parts of society are moving beyond labels, and the expectations for behaviour which comes with them. However, that’s still in the minority, so it’s still important that you two seek out safe, fun, inclusive places and people to be with, to celebrate your diversity and uniqueness.

    And ironically, my love ‘H’ who I blog about dating (but haven’t gone in to details about yet due to privacy) is absolutely BOTH genders- such a handsome, chivalrous ‘man’, yet also a soft, sweet, complex ‘woman’- not that those qualities are exclusive to either sex of course- so now my little ‘bisexual’ heart is having the best time ever, with the best of both worlds!

    Love to you both, G xOO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Hi G, thank you for your kind words. You and I are very similar in a lot of ways. This fluidity confused me as a child. I didn’t understand why I fancied ‘that’ girl if I liked boys. I had no one to talk to and it wasn’t until I moved to Manchester because of University that I understood. It changed my life. I didn’t kiss a girl until I was 21 and none of my friends bat an eyelid.
      Moving back home and marrying a man pushed everything back into the closet, let’s say, until I noticed Raven wasn’t well and reached out to her. We talked and she was over the moon that I understood and supported her. She was 8. Some say too early but she’s always known who she is and I’m so proud of her.
      The trip was both good and bad, as you noticed. Whatever comes, I’m with her all the way. As for me, I’m open to love and if I fall for a woman, I will not hesitate. xx L

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bone&silver says:

        Wonderful! And yes, I’ve spent years with male lovers, including my son’s Dad (obviously). Raven is lucky she has such a cool, flowing Mama, and we are all lucky that society is evolving slowly but surely xO

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DFMGhost says:

        πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

        Liked by 1 person

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