This is a post containing random dirty thoughts. I have found it very hard to control them lately. Don’t expect any real depth in my writing tonight. This is just a bit of fun as I’m a bit of a failure at being sexy as you will see. 😉
1. After having a few too many glasses of wine, it’s past midnight when I decide to have a bubble bath. Things drunk people do… I take my phone with me to the bathroom (because that’s what normal people do) and take a few pictures. I send one to a friend, who calls me big tease and we exchange some banter. Morning comes and I’m checking my pictures. To my horror, I spot a nip slip in one. 😱 I check my email and, thankfully, that wasn’t the pic I sent. I’m not ready to be sending nudes!🙈
2. I’m home alone, enjoying the comfort of my bed, fully naked. I decide I want a sexy picture of my back tattoo. I play with the phone a little until I get a nice one that shows my ink beautifully. I proudly show it to Raven, who rolls her eyes at me.
“That’s a sexting picture.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is, mom.”
“It can’t be if I haven’t sent it to anyone.”
“It’s still a sexting picture.”
I pause and ponder about it. It’s not, I reassure myself. A few days later, I send it to my friend. It is a bloody sexting picture now! 🙄
3. I go to a pub for lunch with barely husband and Raven. I go to the bar to place our order but want to check out the bottled beers. I’m a shorty, so I can’t see anything over the counter. I half climb on it with my torso, look, look, look, find nothing interesting and order the not so tasty draft they have there. As I walk back to our table, barely husband and Raven are talking about my tush!
“Why were you doing that?” Raven asks. “Do you wanna show off your butt?”
I explain my reason was a lot more mundane. I hope some hottie admired the show, I think to myself.
4. I’m giving the dog a shower with his medicated shampoo. I have to be very thorough on the wash because of his skin problem. Unfortunately, he developed a rash on his crotch. Both sides, to make it worse. As I kneel in the shower washing his bits, I can’t avoid his giant testicles. These are not the balls I wish I was washing, I think out loud.
It must be the full moon, as my reader Sophia would say!
The lame picture is of the full moon seen on my area tonight. I wish I had a better camera because it’s gorgeous!