Dirty Thoughts

This is a post containing random dirty thoughts. I have found it very hard to control them lately. Don’t expect any real depth in my writing tonight. This is just a bit of fun as I’m a bit of a failure at being sexy as you will see. πŸ˜‰

1. After having a few too many glasses of wine, it’s past midnight when I decide to have a bubble bath. Things drunk people do… I take my phone with me to the bathroom (because that’s what normal people do) and take a few pictures. I send one to a friend, who calls me big tease and we exchange some banter. Morning comes and I’m checking my pictures. To my horror, I spot a nip slip in one. 😱 I check my email and, thankfully, that wasn’t the pic I sent. I’m not ready to be sending nudes!πŸ™ˆ

2. I’m home alone, enjoying the comfort of my bed, fully naked. I  decide I want a sexy picture of my back tattoo. I play with the phone a little until I get a nice one that shows my ink beautifully. I proudly show it to Raven, who rolls her eyes at me.

“That’s a sexting picture.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is, mom.”

“It can’t be if I haven’t sent it to anyone.” 

“It’s still a sexting picture.” 

I pause and ponder about it. It’s not, I reassure myself. A few days later, I send it to my friend. It is a bloody sexting picture now! πŸ™„

3. I go to a pub for lunch with barely husband and Raven. I go to the bar to place our order but want to check out the bottled beers. I’m a shorty, so I can’t see anything over the counter. I half climb on it with my torso, look, look, look, find nothing interesting and order the not so tasty draft they have there. As I walk back to our table, barely husband and Raven are talking about my tush! 

“Why were you doing that?” Raven asks. “Do you wanna show off your butt?” 

I explain my reason was a lot more mundane. I hope some hottie admired the show, I think to myself. 

4. I’m giving the dog a shower with his medicated shampoo. I have to be very thorough on the wash because of his skin problem. Unfortunately, he developed a rash on his crotch. Both sides, to make it worse. As I kneel in the shower washing his bits, I can’t avoid his giant testicles. These are not the balls I wish I was washing, I think out loud.

It must be the full moon, as my reader Sophia would say!

The lame picture is of the full moon seen on my area tonight. I wish I had a better camera because it’s gorgeous! 

9 Comments Add yours

  1. Zara says:

    Totally normal. I’m always having dirty thoughts that come from years of being unfulfilled! Husband was useless at sex too! Dull, unimaginative, felt like another chore. Good job us ladies have hyperactive imaginations πŸ˜‚ I think of it as a survival mechanism πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I hear you! I decided to post the funnier side but my imagination has gone wild. I don’t mind it a bit and neither does my friend right now. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

  2. nkdwhtguy says:

    Damn this was funny!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! I have the ability to laugh at myself often.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. bone&silver says:

    I think it’s a great sign that you’re getting your mojo back; women are very sexy sensual creatures πŸ”₯❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I am totally sexual, even if it’s very often in an awkward way. I’m trying to have fun with it but my thoughts travel a lot further.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Sophia says:

    OMG I laughed so hard with your postπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ “it is a sexting picture now”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Hmm let us review: I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and this was the sexiest 24 hours I remember reading. Girrrrrl the Full Moon looks good on you! Your energy was off the chart (Raven’s reaction was damn funny. Had she ever seen you in that light? As a sensual woman?) I loved the story of the counter! As a shorty myself I identified with the need and the surprising reaction, funny how things we don’t even think about have a reaction in others (and consider it sexy). I also agree that this was the opening of a Portal to the future You, an Awakening. The Full Moon is a powerful force! Oh darling your post made my dayLalalalalaa good things are coming! And guess what? There will be another Full Moon in a few weeks.πŸ˜ƒ
    The photo you posted is GLORIOUS. Thank you for sharing it!XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I’m really glad I made you laugh. I was half way through a bottle of wine when I started laughing at myself. Raven sees me like this often. She tends to roll her eyes or laugh.
      Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing this journey with me. I’m glad you liked the picture. πŸ˜‰πŸ’™πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

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