CRY

On Sunday I cried, not only once, but three times. It was one of those shitty days.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a dry mouth and a headache. I had a glass of wine before going to bed but that wouldn’t be enough. I took a painkiller with a glass of water and went back to bed.

I was obviously alone but I felt lonely. It was painful. I extended my arm and found the pillow I cuddle with. I held it tight and bawled my eyes out. I fell asleep again still crying.

Later, I was checking my WordPress notifications and read the sweetest messages from my fellow blogger Liverpoolmunky1976. Between his personal battles and collection of comics, he shows the utmost love and admiration for his wife, who he calls the MIGHTY Rosie. Every time he writes about her, my heart melts. I cried again.

Barely husband called and asked if I didn’t mind picking Raven up from the shopping outlet they were going to instead of from his place. It’s the same distance and I could do with some retail therapy, so I agreed.

I looked at myself in the mirror and hated the sight. I have put the weight I had lost before my holiday back on. I’m not even considered fat if you check it on the BMI charts but I know my clothes are too tight and that ridiculous muffin top that insists on overflowing is a confidence killer. I know I have been binge eating. It happens when I’m down and when I hit the Ben&Jerry’s, it’s serious. I cried again.

I’m trying to get my shit back together. The afternoon was pleasant and I did buy new shoes and a new jacket. Now I need to get the focus back on.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. I keep repeating to myself: “Get your shit together, idiot” for the past week. Doesn’t seem to work that much, but sometimes crying is liberating. You cry, you feel like shit and then things get slowly better. To that I say, embrace those days. Let yourself go and then come back. Hope things are better now 😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      They are better, thank you. It was moment of loneliness. They come and go. 😘😘😘

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Zara says:

    Everyone has a bad day – and that’s OK! But don’t let one bad day or ice cream plate turn in to a bad cycle of food that does you no favours. Dust yourself off and eat healthy again. It will make a difference to your energy and sleeping levels too. A good cry every now and then is good for the soul xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I’m trying to take it one day at a time. The food has been eaten, the ice cream is gone. Now I try to go back to normal as soon as I can.
      I don’t try to hold back on the crying anymore. I let it out, ugly cry even. Then I’m done. 😘

      Liked by 1 person

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