On Sunday I cried, not only once, but three times. It was one of those shitty days.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a dry mouth and a headache. I had a glass of wine before going to bed but that wouldn’t be enough. I took a painkiller with a glass of water and went back to bed.
I was obviously alone but I felt lonely. It was painful. I extended my arm and found the pillow I cuddle with. I held it tight and bawled my eyes out. I fell asleep again still crying.
Later, I was checking my WordPress notifications and read the sweetest messages from my fellow blogger Liverpoolmunky1976. Between his personal battles and collection of comics, he shows the utmost love and admiration for his wife, who he calls the MIGHTY Rosie. Every time he writes about her, my heart melts. I cried again.
Barely husband called and asked if I didn’t mind picking Raven up from the shopping outlet they were going to instead of from his place. It’s the same distance and I could do with some retail therapy, so I agreed.
I looked at myself in the mirror and hated the sight. I have put the weight I had lost before my holiday back on. I’m not even considered fat if you check it on the BMI charts but I know my clothes are too tight and that ridiculous muffin top that insists on overflowing is a confidence killer. I know I have been binge eating. It happens when I’m down and when I hit the Ben&Jerry’s, it’s serious. I cried again.
I’m trying to get my shit back together. The afternoon was pleasant and I did buy new shoes and a new jacket. Now I need to get the focus back on.