I often focus on the negatives of my separation. Of course there is all the pain I went through and the problems I still have to sort, but as I start to fix my life and myself, I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I started thinking about this post as a list of good things about being single, then I realised they were actually good things about my separation only. I choose to believe not all partners would so the same as barely husband.
He used to be a total dick at mealtimes, especially after work. He was allowed to be tired, complain about his job and be grumpy. I wasn’t. Because all was my fault.
Now that he’s out of the picture:
- I don’t have to rush home after a hellish work day and prepare a full meal to be at the table before he arrives;
- I don’t have to listen to how insensitive I am when said meal is not ready because it’s my fault he has a shitty job and it’s my duty to do something for him;
- I don’t have to worry about what I choose to cook because Raven and I will basically eat anything, even if it’s a polenta soup with meat leftovers and some cheese, scraped together in 5 minutes;
- I don’t have to endure the screams when I decide to prepare fish and he’s not in the mood for it, shouting he doesn’t like it when he had it the week before without complaints. I should know he doesn’t like it and he was forced to eat it once already;
- I don’t have to worry about complaints if I cook chicken-duck-turkey in consecutive days because that’s poultry overload and he’s tired of it;
- I can decide to go to the local pub last minute and have the simplest dish ordered. He used to diss pub food but now I allow myself to go to a (god forbid) chain pub and order pie and chips. Or chilli con carne;
- If I want, I can even have a pot noodle! – I avoid that but sometimes I really can’t be bothered.
All the fish, quinoa, couscous, polenta, pearl barley, liver, bulgur wheat, octopus, squid, duck breast, aubergine and courgette in the world is now free to enter my kitchen anytime, as well as all the rest I cooked before anyway. My lasagna is delicious and I make a killer Chicken Fricassée (his mom’s recipe that I’ve perfected, mind you). I have even prepared my own sushi, burgers and cut my own steaks. I’m a foodie. I love to experiment and eat.
It has to be a HUGE plus that my mealtimes can now be an enjoyable event.