It’s one of those things you can’t really explain. I had a great weekend, things went better than I could have imagined with barely husband being civil, even nice, and Raven staying with me.

Suddenly, out of the blue, I had one of my exhaustion episodes. It was Sunday evening and I was drained. My body ached and my muscles felt tired, as if I’d spent all day doing physical activities and not stayed in bed until late and gone out for lunch at a restaurant.

Every movement was strained and caused my heartbeat to speed up and my breathing to become hard. I was panting from simply walking up the stairs.

Raven made me lie down and I fell asleep, just as I was. Had my shoes been on, they would have stayed. I woke up a couple of hours later – around 10pm – to apologise to Raven, get changed and go back to sleep.

Raven thinks it’s bad energy again, someone who bears me ill will. I don’t doubt it, so I drew my protective rune on my wrist again. I don’t feel the exhaustion anymore as I type this during my lunch break at work, but I feel a bit empty and low.

My dreams were not peaceful. They didn’t involve me at all; they were more like watching bad news unfold on TV. Still, they did not make me happy. When I have a good dream, I wake up smiling and that carries my good mood throughout the day.

Happy dreams have been my refuge when my mind and especially my body are not getting any loving attention. I crave a simple conversation with someone that makes my heart flutter in a different pace. I crave a loving hug. I crave endless kissing. I’m not even getting on to the sex bit.

I’m powering through it and it will pass. I’ll make it pass.

11 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling down. I’ve also been having weird dreams and since classes are about to start at Uni, it’s been literally a nightmare. But, we HAVE got to power throught it. Fingers crossed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It hadn’t happened for a while. It’s gone now but, when these episodes come, it’s quite scary. Always power through.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is definitely scary, especially the first times it happens. At least for me. Now I’ve grown accustomed to my episodes which I don’t think it’s that good.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DFMGhost says:

        This one came at a strange time, when things were fine. That’s why it was so scary. When things were really bad, I had them every other day. It was awful! Hopefully it will stay away.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. whiskyburden says:

    I feel for you and not for nothing but if I was you I’d go see my doctor. Yea I know you’re healthy but it’s still a wise thing to do. Just saying.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      These episodes used to happen a lot more often when we were at the worst of our relationship. I hadn’t had one in a while. It’s been linked to stress and depression, reason why I was so surprised that it came when things were fine.
      I’m due for a check up anyway, so will see a doctor soon. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sophia says:

    Don’t know when exactly you had them but it was Full Moon in Pisces last week. Full Moon week is notorious for vivid and strange dreams and of course mood changes/shifts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I’ve had many dreams over the past month. They have been very vivid (I’ll talk about them in the post coming today). Mood shift happened for sure. Not a good one and I’m making conscious efforts to change it again. Interesting! Thanks!


  4. Zara says:

    Sounds like a coping mechanism and your subconscious hasn’t yet caught up with the nice weekend you had with BH. Hopefully the good times will roll on and these bad dream occurrences will reduce over time. It could also be your subconscious reminding you to stay weary of this guy and not let your guard down. The mind is mysterious, stay strong 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It makes sense. It was a good weekend but I’m not letting my guard down. That takes energy so it could explain why I felt so drained. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

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