It’s one of those things you can’t really explain. I had a great weekend, things went better than I could have imagined with barely husband being civil, even nice, and Raven staying with me.
Suddenly, out of the blue, I had one of my exhaustion episodes. It was Sunday evening and I was drained. My body ached and my muscles felt tired, as if I’d spent all day doing physical activities and not stayed in bed until late and gone out for lunch at a restaurant.
Every movement was strained and caused my heartbeat to speed up and my breathing to become hard. I was panting from simply walking up the stairs.
Raven made me lie down and I fell asleep, just as I was. Had my shoes been on, they would have stayed. I woke up a couple of hours later – around 10pm – to apologise to Raven, get changed and go back to sleep.
Raven thinks it’s bad energy again, someone who bears me ill will. I don’t doubt it, so I drew my protective rune on my wrist again. I don’t feel the exhaustion anymore as I type this during my lunch break at work, but I feel a bit empty and low.
My dreams were not peaceful. They didn’t involve me at all; they were more like watching bad news unfold on TV. Still, they did not make me happy. When I have a good dream, I wake up smiling and that carries my good mood throughout the day.
Happy dreams have been my refuge when my mind and especially my body are not getting any loving attention. I crave a simple conversation with someone that makes my heart flutter in a different pace. I crave a loving hug. I crave endless kissing. I’m not even getting on to the sex bit.
I’m powering through it and it will pass. I’ll make it pass.