Barely husband made an effort last week to come and say goodbye to my mom. He went to dinner with us. It was awkward but we worked through it. As I explained before, he’s always liked my mother, often getting on better with her than with his own.

We kept the civility along the week and he asked me to stop here while he left his car for servicing. He hasn’t found another garage close to his house that he trusts.

I agreed and he arrived early. I was awake but still in bed when the bell rang. Raven was still fast asleep. 

He looked rough. He was hungover. He usually goes all out on the drinking on Fridays with the same guys from work and this week was no exception. He smiled, somewhat awkwardly, and I laughed. I’ve seen him like this many times before.

He went straight to bed in the downstairs guest room. I went back upstairs to get ready and wake Raven up to go to Drama school. Back downstairs, I made myself some black coffee. I popped into the guest room to offer barely husband some. 

“There are only two things you can do to help me: dialysis or sex,” he said. 

Erm… No thanks, I thought for the sex. I’m not desperate. Well, I kind of am but this would be all levels of wrong. He’s tried the casual sex line with me a couple of times. It never works. 

However, the dialysis line took me longer. I don’t take that joke that lightly. Dialysis is not a joke, not something you can get to filter your blood from alcohol excess. Lame one, BH! 

I laughed and left. “I’ll leave you be then.”

I dropped Raven off, walked the dog and settled in the living room to read and catch up with my messages, notifications and news. I had more coffee and, while preparing my third cup he called me from the room. I sat down and we talked. He was happier and that’s good. He told me about his night out and we laughed. He asked me about my tattoo and wanted to know the meaning. Female strength, power of choice and new beginning, to cut it short. Choosing the new beginning was his interpretation. Works for me. 

I drove him to the garage and his car wasn’t ready yet. It would take another 30 minutes, so I drove him to a nearby pub to eat something as he was clearly suffering from hypoglycaemia. I bought him a coke and a cheesy garlic bread. He thanked me when he started feeling better.

He asked me to pick Raven up because he needed to lie down again. I did. I wanted to see her again before they left to his.

At home, he asked her if she wanted to stay the afternoon. She never says it straight, afraid she’s going to upset him. She wanted to stay home but wouldn’t say.

I reheated some leftovers for lunch and we ate together. He went back to bed.

It was nice to have her home. Late afternoon, when I loaded the washing machine, he called me again. We talked a little more and he offered to take us out to dinner. He would drive, meaning I could have a couple of drinks.

I suggested a place he hadn’t been to yet. It opened after he moved out. We had a good time, the most relaxed we’ve been since before the split.

He dropped me back home and told Raven to stay. He would work in the morning and she would be better off home. We were ecstatic!

Big win! I don’t know if this truce will last but I’ll certainly enjoy it while it does. 

7 Comments Add yours

  1. bone&silver says:

    Definitely enjoy this! It’s so much easier to be civil and relaxed isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It’s definitely easier. I really hope it stays like it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you found this place of coexisting. Hope it lasts for a long time! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Things can change very quickly between us. I think this common ground and healthy relationship is the best for our daughter but sometimes he just can’t stop himself and that triggers me. When I’m triggered, I don’t stop either. Fingers crossed!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope this lasts. I often hoped for this with my own husband, but as he can still not recognize his shortcomings at all, I doubt it will ever be. Sigh. Post on that forthcoming…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It’s not completely easy but it’s the best we’ve been since we decided to end our marriage. I can only hope.


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