Barely husband has dropped his ‘nice’ pretense. I knew it would happen whe he realised I mean it when I say that I have no feelings left for him and I really want a divorce.
I went to his to pick Raven up and his expression wasn’t the best. I was joking with her and she was happy that he had taken her swimming, something she has loved since she was a baby.
She went to the toilet and I asked an innocent ‘Are you alright?’ more to make small talk than anything else. He answered with verbal diarrhoea, accusing me of being dishonest with him, that I only feared divorce when I was unemployed. He accused me of saying that, which I never did. What I said the day before was that things went downhill for us when I was in deep shit, without a job or savings and he was paying the house bills. He took every chance then to torture me, to diminish me.
I struggled to find employment and, in the end, took a really shitty position with even worse pay. I immediately took back half the house bills, even though I was earning a little over half what he was. Funny how whenever he was the one earning less, he would request the expenses to be proportional.
My dishonesty? Not having told him that I was upset and that I needed him to change. He doesn’t count the million times I cried when he made me feel worthless. Did he think I enjoyed it?
He knows he treated me like crap but now it’s somehow my fault and I am just pretending to be the good one. I am not pretending to be anything and I know I have made my mistakes.
Raven walked back in the middle of the argument. She walked in and stood there on purpose to make us stop. I asked her to get her things because we were leaving. When she did, he sent her back to the room so he could finish talking to me.
It was to tell me he was going to reduce contact with me to a minimum and he had already informed Raven. So much for maturity and behaving like responsible adults.
I definitely wanted him to detox from me but I didn’t want it to be through a childish tantrum.