I Knew It Was Coming

Barely husband has dropped his ‘nice’ pretense. I knew it would happen whe he realised I mean it when I say that I have no feelings left for him and I really want a divorce. 

I went to his to pick Raven up and his expression wasn’t the best. I was joking with her and she was happy that he had taken her swimming, something she has loved since she was a baby. 

She went to the toilet and I asked an innocent ‘Are you alright?’ more to make small talk than anything else. He answered with verbal diarrhoea, accusing me of being dishonest with him, that I only feared divorce when I was unemployed. He accused me of saying that, which I never did. What I said the day before was that things went downhill for us when I was in deep shit, without a job or savings and he was paying the house bills. He took every chance then to torture me, to diminish me.

I struggled to find employment and, in the end, took a really shitty position with even worse pay. I immediately took back half the house bills, even though I was earning a little over half what he was. Funny how whenever he was the one earning less, he would request the expenses to be proportional. 

My dishonesty? Not having told him that I was upset and that I needed him to change. He doesn’t count the million times I cried when he made me feel worthless. Did he think I enjoyed it? 

He knows he treated me like crap but now it’s somehow my fault and I am just pretending to be the good one. I am not pretending to be anything and I know I have made my mistakes.

Raven walked back in the middle of the argument. She walked in and stood there on purpose to make us stop. I asked her to get her things because we were leaving. When she did, he sent her back to the room so he could finish talking to me. 

It was to tell me he was going to reduce contact with me to a minimum and he had already informed Raven. So much for maturity and behaving like responsible adults. 

I definitely wanted him to detox from me but I didn’t want it to be through a childish tantrum. 

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Anderson flipped flopped back and forth a lot (and still does), depending on what his current motivation was. This won’t likely be the end of it with your BH. Just keep trying to let it roll off, and know that it speaks volumes about him, and nothing about you. He is going to set up his story, and you will be the villain in it. Although I do find it interesting that you always split expenses during your marriage. Ours just went straight into the pot – perhaps that just made Anderson’s entitlement mentality worse… Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      At least that. We never had joint bank accounts and, as long as the bills were paid, there was no questioning where the rest was going. I have always liked this set up.
      The only things we had together were an investment account, which has already been split, and the house. Then we’re done. I can’t wait!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I so relate with this and know some of this is still ahead of me. The blame has always been deflected to make me the villain and the one deserving this kind of treatment. It’s brainwashing at it’s best and I long ago set up my own checking account as well. I would have no penny to my name otherwise and already have received the entitlement and demands of him going after all I have.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Money has always caused some sort of argument. I think it would have been a lot worse if we had put everything into a pot. I probably wouldn’t have any now. As it turns out, I’m not too bad off after the house sells. I’m being very careful with it and planning for the future.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A wise choice and you got a great head on your shoulders, I’m not worried in the least. But I’m grateful things are falling into place and you will be ok financially. Xo

        Liked by 1 person

  3. fattytomend says:

    From the outside looking in, it feels he’s trying to manipulate to… To unravel you and see if there’s any emotion left. Guys do that hissy fit thing… Threaten to leave you for good/stop trying… When they feel desperate… But I don’t really know the situation or BH. I hope it all ends soon for you. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      He’s always had these angry outbursts. The difference is that I am sure I don’t want to be with him anymore. Every time he does these things, I become more certain.

      Liked by 1 person

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