F*ck off! I am not your secretary! 

on

***I am very pissed off as I write this. Be warned! ***

If you have been following my blog for a while, you will know my biggest pet peeve with barely husband is being made his secretary. 

Fuck! I hate his guts when he does it. Worse, he feels like he’s the victim and I’m the unreasonable bitch! 

The house is finally up on RightMove, with all the marketing stuff I approved with the agency,  and there’s a viewing scheduled for the weekend. Fingers crossed! 🤞🏼

He calls me today to say he transferred part of the money from our only joint account: an investment one we created 7 years ago. Then he asks me for a favour: to go to our GP surgery (doctor) and try to get a referral for an x-ray of his hand. Excuse me? 

Anyone who knows how the NHS (UK healthcare system) works, knows it doesn’t happen like that.

To fill you in on the story, a couple of months ago, he slipped and fell on his hand. He did nothing. He was going to the gym and, even though it was a little painful with some activities, he still did nothing. He was doing some ‘massage’ himself and made it worse. 

He asked me first time to go to the GP (general practitioner) to get an appointment. I did because I was off. There wasn’t one readily available and, when I explained the problem, they offered to get a nurse to call him to discuss the course of action.

I called him to make sure he would take the call. Surprise, surprise! He didn’t want to and authorised me to take it for him. She did call and I answered as best I could, considering it’s not my hand or my pain. She recommended a two week routine which included anti-inflamatory medication, ice pack, rest and raised resting position. I even bought him his first box of Ibuprofen. 

Did he follow it? Hell NO! Nothing. He did take some of the tablets, not even close to how it was recommended. Nothing else. 

Now, because he’s still in pain, it’s somehow my job to go back there and get his referral. I said no, he needs to call the surgery and get an appointment with a GP to examine his hand like the nurse said. 

When I start getting cranky, I am the bitch who never does anything for him when he even transfers money to my account. IT IS MY FUCKING MONEY!!! CURRENTLY IN AN ACCOUNT I DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO! 

He is the nice guy who buys dog food because I asked him to. HE HAS THE ACCOUNT! ONLINE! IT’S HIS FUCKING DOG! 

This has really downed my mood. He didn’t understand why I didn’t want to talk to him anymore and dropped the call. I left poor Raven to answer my phone that was ringing nonstop. She is brilliant! 

I just want this over with. 

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35 Comments Add yours

  1. bone&silver says:

    F*CK that SHIT! You are totally right to be angry. I CANNOT STAND it when men expect to be run around for, like we’re secretaries. Hell NO. Great boundary setting by you; let him deal with his reality.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      He tries to make me feel so guilty about it. It’s just so annoying and I’m so done. Maybe he will realise there really is no way back for us now. Thank you for your support!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bone&silver says:

        He can’t ‘make you feel’ anything; you’re in charge of yourself and your body. Take 10 deep breaths, and just calmly say ‘No, I’m not doing that’. You can do it! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DFMGhost says:

        I’ve already done that which caused a big argument and the attempt at guilt tripping. Not gonna happen. Now anymore.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. tarnishedsoul says:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t divorce mean a severing of any and all responsibilities??? He’s a big boy, he can do it or ask his new non-running girlfriend to do it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It certainly dies but, in his mind, we’re not divorced yet and he’s still trying to ‘win me back’. Go figure.
      He doesn’t have a girlfriend. I wish he did!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. tarnishedsoul says:

        LMAO…I’m an idiot…I, for some reason, got your situation muddled with BLT’s…. I’m embarrassed now. sorry.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. DFMGhost says:

        😂😂😂 No worries! We’re friends too so it’s fine.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. tarnishedsoul says:

        I just feel so silly…I pride myself on listening to people and what’s going on in their lives….obviously, I was confused…
        Luv ya! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      4. DFMGhost says:

        Luv ya too! 🌻

        Liked by 1 person

      5. tarnishedsoul says:

        I knew all this…now I feel stupid. I’m sorry

        Liked by 1 person

      6. DFMGhost says:

        Really, it’s fine. 💖💙

      7. He’s got funny way of trying to win you back. C’mere hunhunnyd do my shitty grunt work for me! Fetch him a beer too would ya?!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. DFMGhost says:

        He wants to win me back by being pleasant most of the time but not changing the key behaviours that drive me nuts. Go fugure!

        Liked by 1 person

      9. My hubby never wanted to change either and did a lot of stuff like this. If it had just been this stuff- who knows… Our issues. Well you know…

        Liked by 1 person

      10. DFMGhost says:

        He honestly doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it and I hate it. He knows I hate it. It’s not the worst thing, it’s just one more on the list.

        Liked by 1 person

      11. That’s the thing. If that were the only bad thing… But for me, it was just one of dozens…

        Liked by 1 person

      12. DFMGhost says:

        They pile up, don’t they? I think you had it way worse than me but it’s still crap.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Haha! I think you are mistaking Ghost’s hubby for mine! Completely understand why- it feels like I am reading my life…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. DFMGhost says:

        Tar was. I said there’s no problem since we’re such good friends 😉😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes. I was trying to reply to his comment. I got a good laugh out of it.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. tarnishedsoul says:

        I totally did and I feel so silly and embarrassed because of it…lol

        Liked by 2 people

      4. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed at all!

        Liked by 2 people

      5. tarnishedsoul says:

        ok…thank you. 🙂 🙂 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  3. 10 deep breaths. 2 glasses wine. Say ” not my problem now.” to him or yourself. Rinse. Repeat. If that fails, say “not my circus, not my monkeys.” you have that saying over there?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I did take the deep breaths and the glasses of wine, that is after I stopped crying. My daughter had to bear it yet again. Poor thing is doing national school exams all week and really doesn’t need this. I’m more than done with him.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I get it. I hate the secretary role. My hubby sent a fucking text today about the car insurance. I didn’t even respond.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DFMGhost says:

        I hate it so much! I always have and he knows it! I felt like smashing my phone. I didn’t because it would have been my loss only.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh man he continues to abuse your kindness and is not even aware of what he is doing. I’m so sorry, some people really don’t get it. Hope this is over quickly and you can put all of this behind you. Hugs my beautiful sister. Xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I truly believe he thinks he’s doing nothing wrong. Hasn’t he got a hint from so many times we argued about this? He still thinks I’m the unreasonable one. I’m so over it now. Hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can imagine and he will ruin a cordial relationship between the two of you. There is only so much to endure and he has no clue. 😔

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DFMGhost says:

        My hope is that when we make it official, the penny will drop. He still hopes to get back together. That’s not a possibility in my mind.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I will sooner or later have to realize this and let it sink in. He is still in denial and I hope it is sooner rather then later. Urggghh

        Liked by 1 person

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