Birthday Wish

I turned 40. I don’t feel any different from before but this age means something. It’s the midlife point, often associated with the famous midlife crisis. 

Barely husband has accused me before of doing all this due to some sort of midlife crisis. He has dropped this argument since we started getting on as friends.


Talking about friends, three of my high school friends came to spend the weekend with me. I took Friday off and we started our fun filled with food and drinking. It was amazing! Barely husband joined us for a lot of it and enjoyed it himself.

While we were together, he would always finds problems to meet my friends but when he eventually did, he realised they are nice people. It was good to see him having fun but the feeling for me was that he was just one of my friends. There was absolutely nothing romantic there. That remains unchanged. He has asked me again. 

Back to my midlife, I remember one of the things our therapist said in our short lived attempt at counselling: ’40 is not old. You still have half your life to live, so choose to live it happily.’


I am making that choice every single day now. There’s no going back for pity or safety. I just can’t do it anymore. I am doing the things I want and that bring me happiness. 

For my birthday wish, I wished love. Beautiful, unconditional love. That will be the last piece of the puzzle. I believe it’s out there and I hope to find it. 

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. ZiZi says:

    Happiest Birthday Wishes!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Thank you! 😊😊😊

      Like

  2. Happy Birthday! I wish I had known! I am glad you got to spend some time with friends.

    As to the midlife crisis- so what if it is? I decided to confront Anderson when I was 40. I realized I couldn’t live this way for another 40 years. Sometimes things just happen that open our eyes. Does it make it wrong that it comes all in a big rush? Probably not. He is just saying midlife crisis to imply that it was some sort of rash, not thought out decision. You spent a lot of time contemplating it. You agonized over it. You took your time. And now you get to follow through, even if it isn’t what he wants.

    Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Thank you! I had almost three days of nonstop fun. It was special that they would travel just because of me and my birthday.
      I think a lot about the next 40 years and all I want is to make the choices I didn’t over the first 40. I want to give myself a chance. That’s all. Thanks for the hugs!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Happy Birthday! I think the term “midlife crisis” should be changed to “life stage evaluation”. It seems to be human nature to put more significance on birthdays ending in zero, so it’s no wonder that it’s at these times that we start to think more deeply about where we are in our lives and how fulfilled we are or not. Sometimes, we might assess then decide we’re happy with the status quo, but if not, then we have to decide whether to continue on the same road or take a different path. We only have one life so have to make the most of it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Thank you! I think it also comes from the maturity stage we are at when we reach 40. Had I known what I do now, I would have made some very different choices. Obviously, I can’t go back but I can apply this to my future. I don’t want to make the same mistakes and I don’t want to allow the same problems. Hopefully this is not just theory. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. bone&silver says:

    Happy Birthday from Australia! When I turned 40, I decided to move across the country for a new relationship. Then we tried to have a baby; the stress of IVF broke us up. Now at 50, I’m falling for the most incredible human being, who happens to be a woman… so hang on tight & enjoy the ride of the 2nd half of your life! You have NO IDEA what’s going to happen: keep choosing Love, authenticity, honesty & kindness ❀️ Plus fun adventures with friends πŸŽ‰πŸ˜Š. Best wishes, G

    Liked by 2 people

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Thank you, G! The biggest thing for me is exactly that: choosing love and authenticity. I will not hide who I am anymore and I expect to be fully accepted. I want to love! I haven’t felt loved in so long that I don’t even remember what it feels like. I have high hopes for my life’s second half.
      I am sorry about your IVF. I’ve seen the struggle from people close to me and I know how painful it can be. I have been blessed with a beautiful daughter and she’s fully behind me. She’s probably my biggest supporter and definitely my voice of reason.
      Take good care of your partner. Anyone who makes us happy deserves the best from us.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bone&silver says:

        Thanks. I’m lucky I have my 17 yr old son to remind me about my faults and joys! I really hope you find good love; we all deserve it; I look forward to following your journey

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Awe happy birthday and I wish I could have sent a special message on your special day. I’m glad you had fun and you found many ways to laugh.
    I think we all ponder midlife crisis and I since have come to a new conclusion of it. For me it is finally waking up and saying no more to the crap we have endured for so long. It is chasing our own beliefs and not the values and expectations of others. It is putting ourselves first for a change and much more. How could that ever be a crisis. I think I write a post about it πŸ˜‰
    Happy birthday my beautiful friend

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      This is a special message! Thank you!
      I don’t see my decisions as a result of midlife crisis. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of thought. There are things I understand better now. I found out there were things I thought I could compromise on when I really can’t and shouldn’t. I feel more mature and I hope to make the right choices from now on. To our future! 🍷

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cheers to us 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

    P.S. Sorry I didn’t write to you sooner!! Lots of love!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Thank you, Georgia! Lots if love to you! I hope you are well. πŸ’–πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

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