AWKWARD

Barely husband and I have been on good terms since we decided to split up. We have been talking constantly and the relationship has definitely improved from when we were together.

You may ask me “Why are you worried?”

I wouldn’t say worried exactly but it seems he’s trying to win me back. He doesn’t say it, except for a couple of weeks ago, when he texted me to ask if I could see us getting back together in the future. Wow.

He’s been picking Raven up from Drama School on Saturdays and I go to his place on Sundays to get her back. He’s been very nice, we have a coffee together and chat for a while so I can have a break before taking the hour long journey back.

He’s pleasant and he looks at me in a way he hasn’t for years. There is tenderness and longing, two things that I never really associated with him. When I arrive and when I leave, he hugs me tight and breathes in my scent.

I don’t want to cut him, because there is nothing ultimately wrong with what he’s doing but I can’t help but feel awkward. My feelings are not there, not like this anyway. I’d like us to be friends. He’s said before he doesn’t think we can be just friends.

As I said: AWKWARD!

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. ZiZi says:

    As Stupid and I were going through our mess he did the same kind of thing. He tried to be SUPER nice. He took me to dinner and for 3 months got a babysitter every Wednesday so we could have time together. I was thinking perhaps he realized he was going to lose his family over a stupid work affair. Ehhhh…..I can’t recall what he asked me to do but I said no and he became VERY mean and just outright nasty. He stopped the Wednesday outings, stopped texting me in the mornings…..it was like being kicked twice.
    I’m just saying that to say….try to see past the nice faze and see if there may be more he is looking for. Perhaps he is trying to butter you up? I don’t know if you guys have everything financially split and worked out, but he could be hoping towards getting more money from you (or you not taking much from him). Remember tigers don’t change their stripes…..so why this all of a sudden?

    (I hope I’m not coming off bitchy…just don’t want it to turn out poorly for you)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I totally understand what you’re saying and it makes sense but I honestly don’t think that’s the case. Our finances are very straightforward, split in half everywhere. We are already dividing everything even before we start official divorce procedures. The most complicated item is the house, which we would have to sell to divide as I don’t have the cash to buy my half.
      I see hope in his eyes but I don’t see it working. He is happy with his new found city life. I am happy with my village life and us getting back together will mean the return of the disagreements as it would require compromises none of us is ready to make.

      Like

  2. I totally understand and you feel that way because too much has happened and once that does, we just can’t go back. Even if they would chance completely and be everything we ever wanted them to be with all issues resolved, for me there was a point I just couldn’t turn back anymore. It’s like the relationship dies off slowly, more and more until there is nothing left. We will always care, just not in that I’m in love with you kind of way

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      That’s exactly how I feel. I don’t hate him and I always said he’s not a bad person. I just think we’re not right for each other. Us moving back together would mean one compromising on something that is making them happy now. Definitely not the right thing to do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Same here and our lives are just going into different directions. One has always feel oppressed and if you are just courteously being tolerated, what’s the sense in it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DFMGhost says:

        It is true that we are getting on better but I’m sure that’s because we are both happier being apart and doing the things we like. I don’t think he sees it like this.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It will take time and he still hasn’t accept this yet but clings to hope to win you back. The problem is that all the things he is doing now which he hasn’t before, take effort and if they take effort and don’t come natural than they are work and will never last.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. DFMGhost says:

        We’ll see what happens. He seems a lot happier and he would like to insert me in that context but that’s one I won’t be happy with. Feels like going around in circles!

        Liked by 1 person

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