There is no doubt in my mind that I have made the right choice by picking the divorce.

The relationship is irrevocably broken and we want and cherish very different things in life. 

He wants the safe, what he calls a wife, a child and a dog. 

I want to feel. Simply feel something as I have been numb for a long time. 

Before leaving, barely husband was aggressive, telling me what I want is an unattainable dream. That I would regret it when he rejected me in the future. 

That was a few weeks ago, before we entered our very civil, friendly mode,which has been good for me. 

Still, his words echo in my head, making me ponder: am I really chasing a dream? The dream of being unmistakably and irrevocably in love? 

I think the only times in my life I was IN LOVE, were times when things were too strained or unresolved for it to work. Times when we were too immature to have it.

As I approach my 40th birthday, would I be able to live it now or is it just a long lost dream?