IT’S OVER

Our second counselling session was a disaster.

Barely husband said horrible things about me, making me sound like the worst person to ever grace the face of the earth.

‘Trying’ to him would mean complying to his requirements and I can’t do it anymore. 

Our counsellor guided the conversation many times to allow me to speak. He called me a liar when I said that I tried. I did try but like everything I ever did, it wasn’t good enough for him.

Afterwards came the usual apologies and he was saying that was not what he meant and blaming the language. It’s not the language. It’s his attitude. 

Like many times before, he says whatever he thinks will hurt the most and not even remember it later. It has happened too often and I can’t take it any longer. 

I told him it’s over. I am not trying anymore. Let hell break loose. 

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. I think that it’s very powerful that you are using the outlet of blogging to reflect on such a difficult time. Much love and strength your way ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It has helped me greatly and I discovered a lot of people relate to my posts. Thank you. 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry that you had to be the recipient of his anger like that again. My husband did this to me to in counseling. And he also apologized later. Perhaps the anger you feel will help get to through this; I think in the right situations anger is a good motivator. Hugs. Today is National Drink Wine Day at least…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I am drinking wine! I have come to London to meet some of my ‘imaginary’ friends I met through Wattpad and we’re having a blast. Maybe one day I’ll be able to do a WordPress meeting too!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally relate to this today. I have been told over and over again that I am not trying. He doesn’t see that I am trying in my own way. It’s just not working. I am no longer in love with him and I need that feeling more than ever right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      It is tough. He’s trying to make me feel guilty because he has tried and I know it. The problem is he can’t change the key behaviour that hurts me the most: his aggressive words when things are not to his liking. He picks the most hurtful ones and he can’t even remember them afterwards. He doesn’t mean them but he still says them with the sole purpose of hurting. I can’t take it any more.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry you had to endure this once more, but sometimes it is the only thing that will help us to move forward. I thought I had been there a few times but in the end didn’t stay strong as I let me anger and disappointment fade away so I could endure more pain. I hope this will be not your case and instead of “Let hell break lose” let’s just say ” Let’s rise from hell” and we have been stuck there for quite awhile. Much love to you my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I have been quite final this time. I can’t take it anymore as he is unable to change the thing that has always hurt me the most: his words purposely chosen in a moment of anger, let out with the sole intent of causing pain. He changed and improved a lot of things – all the silly things – but the thing that destroyed us, he can’t.
      I know hell will break loose before I can rise from it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Much love for you my dear friend. Praying for it to be over quickly. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi! I’m really sorry about what happened… At least you tried, you did the best you could, and even if it is ACTUALLY over, your conscience is clean and you can truly move on from all of this. Hugs. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      Thank you! It’s a tough moment but I face it with a certain relief. I want to move on.
      There are a lot of practical issues that will need sorting first but I will get there.
      💖💖

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Bel says:

    I just read this and some of your other posts as well. I am sorry for what you are going through. There are moments in life when you know that it’s over and you are done feeling a certain way. I wish you peace and healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DFMGhost says:

      I’m trying. I have to admit I wake up every day feeling I’ve done the right thing.
      The practicalities still scare me bit I’m moving on.
      Thank you! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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