Barely husband has a date to move out. It will be the trial period we agreed on. 6 months with him living close to his work, only coming back home for the weekends.
He wants to use the time to do things for himself. I want to use the time to do things for myself. That’s the moment we’ll have to find out if we diverge or converge.
It will be like being at crossroads yet again. Being faced with a choice, will I be brave enough to take the path my heart chooses? Deep down I feel like I have already chosen. I know I have already chosen.
My hope is that by being away, he will realise the same. He gives hints when we talk about the future; hints that we will not be together but at the same time he hopes. He hopes my feelings will change or at least he hopes I will disregard my feelings and ‘think about all we have together’.
He talks a lot about material things that are not important to me right now. I know I won’t be able to afford living in the same house but do I really need a 5 bedroom house for my daughter and I? Do I need to spend a fortune on a cable TV package when I hardly ever watch TV?
I’ve already written about the things I want. It’s all so simple but so distant.