That makes it two in two weekends. Not about Wattpad or jealousy over book characters or complaining about the amount of time I spend giving support to the young readers who reach out to me for help. This time was simply about the banality of sex.
He wants it, I don’t feel like it. He said he wouldn’t mix things, in that we were having sex because of our friends with benefits arrangement, not because things are fine between us. I knew he would and it was my weakness to give it to him before.
Things have improved on a day to day basis, considering we can sit together, have a conversation, laugh… Basically have fun and enjoy each other’s company but my heart is not there as it should be. I enjoy his company indeed but there is no attraction, no wanting from my side. He is becoming a friend. Just a friend.
That’s not the result he wants. Definitely not. That’s where I’m at. I don’t know if the desire will ever come back; if my feelings will ever come back.
I can’t even say what I want because he is trying to do everything I said I wanted from him and it’s not enough.
Is it a case of it being 10 years too late?