JEALOUSY

There has been another argument. Barely husband is growing increasingly jealous of my writing, especially of my leading man (Scott) in my book. He’s been vehemently arguing a case for the leading couple not to stay together. What pisses me off the most is that he uses Scott’s bisexuality as a reason for the split.

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HASN’T HE FUCKING READ WHAT THE STORY IS ABOUT???

He’s currently re-reading it because he had obviously missed a lot of important plot points on his first desperate read, when trying to reach out to me when I pushed for a divorce. Now his thick head still can’t grasp it. He argues being bisexual is some sort of ‘defect’. If it is, then I am defective too. Can’t he understand it? The fact that we have been together for the past 16 years and that I have been completely faithful to him during those does not, by any means, change who I am. I will not be ‘fixed’. I don’t bloody need any ‘fixing’ to start with.

I spent a lot of time writing a chapter collaboration with a friend and he further entered grumpy mode. I had a few drinks and then one of the girls I give support to contacted me needing help. He wanted sex. He’s been after me constantly and I honestly haven’t felt like it. When I refused to follow him, he freaked out on me. I cried and hid myself in one room to help the girl. He kept on texting me ‘are you done yet?’ like a child. I was not done for a couple of hours and, even when I was, I still didn’t want to see him.

I had a terrible night. I slept like crap. I put up with him in the morning because of Raven. The day before, we had agreed on a cinema trip so I went on it. I say ‘because of Raven’ because she wanted my company. She’s not happy with the things he says to her about me. It’s like he can’t contain himself and he thinks it’s his chance to try and convince her I’m in the wrong.

She stays quiet but she doesn’t agree. I asked her not to argue with him. It’s not worth it.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m sorry he doesn’t get you… Nobody needs any “fixing”, they just need to be who they are deep down.
    And arguing with him definitely isn’t worth it. That I know from personal experience. I simply nod, put on a smile and leave the room as fast as I can. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. MLYGhost says:

      I have a lot of experience avoiding arguments. His normal response is to provoke until he gets one but he’s been avoiding that, which is definitely an improvement.
      I know I don’t need fixing. It’s still hurtful.
      Thank you for your support! ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Married for 15 years, in a loveless marriage with 2 wonderful kids, when my soulmate came along …. just happened to be in the form of a woman. Been together almost 25 years. Bisexual, not a label I feel comfortable with, but then again I don’t like labels. I am more attracted to men then woman, but I don’t, nor ever had fooled around …. I believe this is probably the norm. I’m with the person I fell in love and am very happy, this is the choice I made.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MLYGhost says:

      I’m not one for labels either but they exist. That is something I discuss in my book.
      If I was going to pick one, it would be pansexual as I really don’t care about gender.
      I’m glad you made that choice because I think conforming wouldn’t have brought you happiness.
      I never fooled around and never cheated on my husband or anyone else I ever dated. It’s not what it’s about. I just wish he would see that every time he says there is something ‘wrong’ with my character, he is saying there is something wrong with me. I may have been in a straight relationship all this time but it does not change the essence of who I am.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. He can’t relate with you because everything is so foreign to him and he can’t imagine pleasure in bisexuality. It’s a disgrace and therefore some defect has to be present, a wrong way of thinking etc.
    I’m afraid it will always be a hurdle for him and pulling Raven into it now just to give him some form of feeling he is right in his way of thinking is obviously selfish and he is missing the damage this is doing. 😔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MLYGhost says:

      As I say, he is the straightest straight type. He does not understand the detachment from specific body parts. He tries to get Raven on his side and she gives him a Masterclass. She hasn’t learned it from me, because I didn’t tell her about me until she opened up to me. In my straight pretense, I almost failed to notice what was happening to her. Now it’s a decision to not pretend anymore. I am what I am and that’s it. And she’ll be with me all the way.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The only way and I’m happy for both of your journeys. I know it’s not easy and it might bring pain, and still it remains the only choice that is true and fits.

        Liked by 1 person

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