I like sex. Hell knows my life would be a lot easier now if I had no physical needs, if I could say that I lost my libido. 

Barely husband proposed the ‘friends with benefits’ thing. Hypocritical, I know, as he wasn’t happy when I confessed me sleeping with him had become just physical. 

He’s been persistent. Not in a bad way but persistent nonetheless. He’s been funny, making jokes about it and even buying  me a ‘love massager’ that I find works better for my back than what he intended it for. 

He argued that we both have the needs and we don’t want to sleep around. He said he wouldn’t mix it up and think things are fine. They clearly aren’t. 

I decided to try it. We did it. And,  as I expected, it was just sex. No feelings. There isn’t a connection anymore. At least not for me. 

It was good. Not great. It would never be great without the feelings. I realise that. But I didn’t feel bad or guilty about it like I used to when he didn’t know where I stood. 

I’m not sure I’ll carry on with this arrangement. It is not fulfilling, even if I don’t feel bad about it.