As I mentioned in my previous post, my ghost writer persona has been busted. Barely husband has known for a while that I’ve been writing on Wattpad. Many times he tried to get me to tell him about my book and I always refused. I told him the themes would make him uncomfortable and I didn’t need any more arguments in my life.
That was my space to share my story about love with no boundaries and my ties with the LGBTQ+ community. It is my attempt to inspire people to fight against prejudice and possibly extend a helping hand to someone affected by the issues I discuss. I achieved my main goals while maintaining my identity a secret.
In his desperation after my confirmation I do indeed want a divorce, he has managed to find my book and read it. When he told me, I thought he was bluffing but then he started naming characters and discussing the plot and I had to accept it.
He told me I should give him more credit and I should have trusted him and told him what I felt. He doesn’t remember I tried. Many times. And every time I came out hurt and crying. I tried until I gave up and hid in my shell, which I closed so tight no one was allowed in.
He told me I am a good writer; a very good writer and he was surprised. Compliments don’t come out of him often so that had great importance. I can still see he is uncomfortable with it but he is trying. He wants to see the real me who, he now admits, he doesn’t know at all.
I gave the main character a lot of my backstory and now he’s convinced my Lucy is me, as he obviously recognised a few of the plotlines. I say she’s not me. Life has taken her on a completely different path to mine and that’s totally fictional.
Barely husband has even suggested I break the main couple up so she can meet a new guy with his name. In our new found attempt at friendship, this has caused a few laughs, with his storyline suggestions verging on top Mexican Telenovela drama. Sorry, dude! Not happening!
I have added my real name to my profile on Wattpad and there’s a group of us writers planning a meeting. It’s nice to be called by my name again. Gives me a bigger sense of belonging.
My blog is still my safe haven. He still doesn’t know about it and I hope it stays this way so, if you find my name there, please keep it secret here. Thank you!